Happiness Training

Wow, this is exciting! Thank you to everyone who has started reading and sharing this blog! I've already seen readers from all over the world, literally! Germany, Russia and Japan - and it's very thrilling!

There are so many ideas buzzing around in my head, and so many are interconnected, that it is very difficult to pick just one to write about! As always, if you have any topic requests or questions, please email me at DaddyByTheMoments@Gmail.com! Today's topic is a little close to home, not so much for me but for someone close to me. I'll be using the feminine "her" to refer to the child today, but it applies to the Father-Son relationship just as much.


The moment I'm going to talk about today is that moment when your child comes up to you with an "A" on her report card, or great news that she made the team or came in 2nd in the tournament, or a drawing that she just completed or a song she wrote, or to tell you how she just rode her bike all the way down the block on her own...

It's that moment when she comes to you looking to feel like her accomplishment means something to the "King of the House". When she wants to know what impact her actions have in this world.

Before this moment ever happens, think less about how your child affects you and more about how you affect your child! After all, they are going to be around affecting the world longer than you are.

This is a pivotal moment, one where the first thing that comes out of your mouth will be a part of her mental programming for years to come, probably the rest of her life.

Your reaction to her will teach her how to predict her future. Think about that. Really stop and think about it! What do you want to teach your child?

Do you want to teach her that this great thing she did is mediocre, or just expected? That this feeling of victory and accomplishment that she's feeling is really nothing? That she should go through life never being happy, or even satisfied, with her accomplishments but that she should always have to do better? Because this is what you will teach her if you do not react with more passion than she has. Because you are her role model, if you respond to her great feeling of accomplishment with less emotion and less joy and more negativity than what she is feeling, you will be teaching her that she is too excited, that she shouldn't feel this good, that she's making too big a deal out of it and that her happiness will always remain on the other side of the next achievement, forever out of reach.

But if you take the time, take the moment, to respond to her with more passion about her victory than even she has, you will be teaching her such wonderful things! You will be teaching her that every accomplishment can be celebrated for what it is, that she has achieved something, that there may be so far to go but the fact that she's taking steps in that direction is amazing and powerful, and that her first step was beautiful and well executed. You will be teaching her that happiness is now - RIGHT NOW - not "when I get this I can be happy" or "when I accomplish this then I'll be allowed to be happy". You will be teaching her to expect success and happiness out of what she does and in what she does and that will give her a sense that she can do anything she really wants to!

What do you want to teach her? Because she wants to learn, and she will live the lesson her whole life!

To those who misunderstand this and think I'm advocating a blanket parenting policy of celebrating mediocrity and lying to your child that they are perfect and there is never room for improvement, that is not what I mean. I'm not saying to celebrate a "D" on the report card or celebrate when she doesn't make the team, but respond to her - even the "D" and getting cut from the team - with more optimism than she has because even just a little more optimism will be enough to teach her to take mistakes in stride, pick herself up off the ground, and give it another try (more on allowing mistakes in another post - stay tuned!).

Because the parents are their world inside the home, every time you respond to your child you teach them how to react to the world outside the home. You are there to teach your child how to handle the world, so pay close attention to the techniques you are giving them!